J Dogg's Online Journal

2004-03-31T00:40:00.000-08:00

Well, things have been crazy lately. Not that I pretty much can't say that all the time, that is just life I guess.
It has been a while sense I wrote in this journal and there is allot that wen't on sense then so who knows if I can think of it all.
Ace finaly wen't to jail a couple weeks ago. The cops decided to make a move, so they blocked off all of Laws Avenue and went door to door with his picture until somebody told them where he was.
They wen't to his house and followed his aunt up to his room where he was. He got put in jail for a week or so before he was Or'ed. They gave him another chance to do the AODP drug program thing, so he thinks he will probably go through with it this time. He did'nt like jail at all from what he says. They told him that if he fucks up on his probation again, he will be put in prison. They even gave him his first strike so he could fuck up probation and get another. I hope he don't end up in prison cause he will have a hard time.
I am sure he can handle himself, but he is small so some people may try to fuck with him.
I guess time will tell how that goes.

I have been working allot lately, trying to get some extra hours in. My boss told me a bit back, that he is planning on giving me 40 hours a week plus any overtime if I do work over. The extra money would be nice to have. As it is right now, after I pay rent I barely have left to do anything with. Usualy I will just buy a nice bag of dope if there is a good deal around, and sit and get spun out. Lately I have had to take whatever money I have left, and make more money with it. There still is weed to sell, but I hate selling it all cause it's nice to have when you are coming down, or just needing to get stoned.
I know I have been smoking a whole shitload more then I usualy do. When Ace went to jail, I stopped getting any dope cause I did'nt want to hassle with it, and the weed sure came in handy there. I went a few days with no dope to smoke which is unusual for me.

I have seen Melissa around a few times lately. I am, in a way, happy to see her cause I know she is doing ok from what I can see, but it is fucked up also. I nolonger trip on her as bad, but I still get that feeling inside. As much shit as I talk about her sometimes, I do have to admit that somewhere there in my heart, I do still love her. I do want her to be happy, and live a good life, but, I also wan't her to know how much she hurt me, and to atleast be truly sorry. Not just an "im sorry jesse" like she said when we broke up, to me that was'nt shit. I did'nt feel any meaning when she would say that. I just want her to be sorry for what she did, and then I think allot more will be settled. I wanted to still be her friend, because I did feel we had a good friendship, but apparantly she does not realy want that. I wish that one day, she would come up and just let me know she wants to be friends. I still care about her and it has been a LONG time sense we talked. A few weeks ago she and Donald came up to the drive thru at work and I was able to say, "Hello, how are you doing", and she replied, "Good, and you". That was about the extent of it. It felt good in a way though, just to talk to her. Good but bad. It's always fucked, even when good if that makes any sense.
I guess she is still going to College, so she nor this other chick that worked at my work, ever call LuLu much either. LuLu decided not to go to college and that may have something to do with it. LuLu is a good person though, even though she has that bitchy side to her. She used to seem to almost hate me, but I think I soffened her up. She has helped me through so much I could not even begin to name every time. She helped me in the past with my Ex, when we still were together. She would call her if we had an arguement, and try to smooth things over, and when we broke up she always tryed to make me feel better, and see what she could find out, and do to help. Also, she helped me out psychologicaly one time when I slit my wrist. She even makes these Kick ass burgers for me sometimes. She always used to be a little bitchy at work sometimes, and tell me to go do things, but that slowed down a bit. That is why I started calling her my "wife". One day I told her, "damn, you like to bitch and give orders like you are my wife", and that stuck every sense. The bitchyness slowed down allot after a while, and I feel like we became closer.
I do cherrish her friendship allot. I'm not even sure she knows.
A while back I was in a fucked up mood, and allot of people I know were being fucked up and almost fake to me. I ended up going off on her about something, and said some mean shit. I felt realy bad. Even after I appologized I felt bad. She said, "so it hurt you too huh?... cause it hurt me, and I felt it in her voice. I felt like a fucking asshole. I ended up appologizing again later, and things got better again. Now I don't give her as much shit anymore if she asks me to do things, I guess that I feel like maybe I owe her that in a way. But enough about all this mushy bullshit.

Things with the Scraps have started to heated again.
It started when they jumped little John, then got worse when they started mobbing up and down Laws with car-loads of people. That right there is some serious shit. The know that Laws is Norteno Teritory, as well as some N.C.P. To go to Laws and drive up and down the Avenue is just asking for shit to be started. Just abunch of little shit started happening here and there, small conflicts and fights basicaly. One day right before Ace went to Jail, They cruised with about 4 people, and jumped out on the East end of Laws and started fighting with the Nortenos. Me, Ace, and a couple other woods ran out of the house to go assist, but by then they already hoped back in and drove away because they were outnumbered by the Nortenos. We went back inside and smoked some more weed, until we heard some more shit happen about 5 minnutes later. We ran back out and seen them with even more people, about 6, but they were not out of the car yet. They seen us this time, and realized there was allot of people they would have to go against, so they took off. A few more incident's happened, mainly the Surenos driving by dogging, or throwing up signs. The other day three of them came into my work to get food. I knew they were scraps but I did not say anything because they seemed to not have a problem. Everything was cool until I heard them say something in spannish to this Mexican chick I work with, and she looked at me completly shocked, almost like she was thinking "I cant believe they just said that to him". I just knew without a doubt, that they were talking shit. That is what they usualy do when a White guy is around, talk shit. But this white guy don't give a fuck about shit, and will confront whoever is needed to be confronted. They were talking more in spannish between each other, so I stood there staring at one of them, waiting for him to turn his head and look. He did and I kept dogging him. Then I threw up my arms, basicaly calling them all on. They did nothing and by that time another chick I worked with asked me what my problem was so I walked away back to the back of the building. I made a few phone calls to make sure some Homies would be in the Area incase things got bad. I was planning on taking these mother fuckers out. I asked the manager for a break, then slipped quietly outside and waited by their car. I was planning on rushing them when they came outside. I waited until my break was over, but they still never came outside. As soon as I got back inside they left. I had a feeling they were going to try to make a move later on, after all they always do, so I knew I better get ready. Before I got off work, Little D. came by to say what's up, and I told him what had happened. He said that he would be waiting outside for me after work, incase I need any back up. Also, Eric, and a couple others showed up as well. The scraps cruised by but noticed that I had some heads with me and decided not to fuck with it I guess. We ened up going to Laws and smoked some dope. I ended up running to Isac there on Laws, which was hella cool. I have not seen him sense I was 14 or so, when he killed that guy down at the Rose Motel and he was sent away to CYA and Prison. He was supposed to be out in 2000, but he caught another case while he was in there. He just got out a couple weeks ago. It was good seeing him again. I got him so fuckin stoned he passed out on the couch.
The scraps keep cruising by like they are going to make a move, but have'nt made any big ones yet. The other day, almost every other car I seen were Surenos, all dogging, but not jumping out. I have been with other homies lately, and not alone much, so that could be a reason why no real fighting has happened. I am still pretty sure they are just scanning out the situation, and are soon going to try something. I sure do know that they have always done shit like that in the past. This scar on my back from a Knife is one of many things that prove it. Especialy thinking back to during the war on Ford Street last summer, when we were fighting every day. That was very hectic. It had to take several drive by shootings and hundreds of fights, just to chase them off Ford. After that, it calmed down for awhile, but now they seem to be getting brave again. They don't have Ford Street anymore, mainly because it is protected by the Nortenos that live on Sydney court, but they are in other areas. Know knows what will happen.

On another note, I have been freestyling lately, and writing some fat flows. I still plan on getting the studio open on here in the future. I have flowed to a few people and they all complement me on it, so I may try to go a step further and get a CD put out. What we realy need to work on is getting some realy good beats. That will be tricky but I think it will be ok.

Well I gotta go for now until next time I decide to write, whenever that will be.

The scraps

2004-03-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

Well I'm back here for now and decided that I might want to try and write another entry.
It's been a very lively and hectic few days. I saw Austin days ago and he hooked me up with a FAT bag of Shit. He got me some good prope cut with Crystal for very cheap. He rolled bowls with me for a while before I got mine, while we cruised around taking care of buisness. We had to go out of town to get it, but it was worth it. He hooked it up and we rolled bowls on the way back to Ukiah. He dropped me off and I went to work soon after. After work I went home and waited for Falynn and Eric to call because they were coming to town. I changed my clothes and cleaned up a bit, then they picked me up after they called and we cruised down to Laws Ave. where her cousin just moved. It was crazy because he cousin moved 2 doors down from her Ace Dogg (Falynn's Ex) lives. We sat there and rolled bowls, and tweeked out for most of the night and the next morning. I also got to meet and bullshit with this dude that Falynn and Eric brought down who turned out to be pretty cool. Later the next day, after being tweeked out of my mind, they decided to give the dude a lift home and come back, so I had them drop me off at home so I could take a shower and change. I got done cleaning up and did some shit around the house, and smoked some dope. Falynn called later on and told me about the fight that they had, where Eric fucked up some drunk dude and she fought some other hoe. She said that they will probably take longer then expected sense all this shit happened.
I got high some more and went and fucked off around town for a while, and came back that night.
I finaly got my dope bong to work perfectly and started hitting on that for a while. I sat and smoked dope all night and got SOOOO fucking high that I could not think straight. I guess I fucked up because I was sitting in my room the next morning when my mom comes storming in, yelling and cussing because she found my bag of dope that I apparantly left out in the open in the bathroom. She threw my dope down on the table and stormed out. I'm glad she didnt try to throw my shit away or anything like that. Later that morning she came back home and made me breakfast which was pretty cool. I guess she felt bad maybe about getting after me for having dope in her house. I ate breakfast and went back to my room for a while. Then she decided to leave again. A little bit later Falynn called and said she was on her way to go see me. Her and Eric came over and I loaded a good size bowl of dope in the pyrex and fixed up the bong. We hit the bong a couple of times, before my mom snuck in while I was in the middle of taking a hit. She got pissed off and told us all to leave. We left and drove up to the hills where we sat and got tweeked then drove down to Laws Ave. We sat for a while in her cousins pad, then I decided to call Ace Dogg when it got late enough for him to possibly be awake. During this time we saw Pancho and invited him to come in. Pancho had a couple different kinds of dope and we smoked a few bowls of each. I went to wake Ace Dogg up after awhile sense he was still not awake and smoked a bowl of dank with him. I chilled at Ace's pad for a while. A bit later Lil' John came around, as well as a few other homies and Ace's cousins. We all had a fat smoke-out, and then went outside to hang out.
I took notice right away that ever few minnutes, a car-load of Scraps drove by and knew that the street was going to heat up soon. I mentioned this to little John and he thought the same. It was not long after, that soon Laws was filled with a bunch of Nortenos and Peckerwoods standing around bullshitting, waiting for some shit to come down. The Nortenos and the woods kind of have a working relationship here in U-town, sense we both have fought the same enemy and often share Teritorys. In fact when I was chillin with Austin a couple days before we went to a Norteno's pad and smoked some dope with him, and I talked to him about things that went on and how we help each other, etc.. The war on Ford street and the Plaza was brought up, and he mentioned how him and his North Side homeboys respected us for helping them get the Scraps off of ford. The Nortenos on Ford are part of the same Norteno Gang on Laws so I was pretty sure that we would have the same kind of welcome as before. Finaly, the sun started going down and people were starting to get wild and crazy. I could feel the tension, and addrenelan in the air. The whole neighborhood was hyped up and ready for the shit to fly. I got a ride to Ford so I could score some more herb and get some money, then went back to laws. I chilled for a while, with the Northern and Peckwerwood homeboys, while all the kids played football in the middle of the street. One of the kids got hit by a car that was passing by, and soon they all were chasing after the car about to rip the guy out of his window. They all might of been little kids, but most of them have already been introduced to the Gang Life and have joined gangs themselves. A few small fight here and there broke out, but nothing that was not a normal day-to-day thing for Laws Ave. Me and little john finaly hooked up with some more dope and we went and smoked some off and on for a while, until Falynn told me that her and eric were leaving. I have a feeling that they just did not want to be around when the street got wild, so they left. By this time there was even more Surenos driving by, but they were chased away by the Nortenos. Little John managed to throw a rock and hit the driver right in the head, while another got stomped before they got away. Another Sureno's car was slightly damaged but I was not there to see it at the moment. We wen't back to Ace's and chilled some more, and I occasionaly went down to Little John's house to roll some more bowls with him and his cracked out mom. Later that night we were sitting back at Ace's house while Lil' John was out trying to make a come up. Ace's little cousin Joey came in with some of his friends, telling Ace that some gang bangers jumped him and stole his bike. Ace and his Cousin Justin grabbed a bat, while another homeboy grabbed a knife and I mobbed with them. We cut across laws, behind an appartment complex, and through a hole in the fence where we came out new Beacon Ln. We spotted them and started toward them. There was about 5 of us and 10 or so of them, but most of them started running away. We caught up to 2 of them who did not run annd they realized that they made a mistake. They showed us where the bike was and we warned them not to try and fuck around like that again. We mobbed back to Ace's.
Not much more happened that night, besides a few minor fights here and there, but that is to be expected on Laws Avenue. Later that night, me and Lil John mobbed around trying to come up, occasionaly taking breaks here and there to get high. We spit some freestyle flows, and bullshitted about different things, and about how he did not think highly of ATC anymore, so he has been giving thought to starting his own cliqe.
We chilled until the next day, before I went back to Waugh to shower and change. I did so pretty quick, then went up to Ford St. to score some more weed and money. I got a lift back to Laws and smoked some weed with Ace. I sent little John to go score me a bag of dope and he did so. He came back an hour later with a good bag and some extra money he made. We went and got high at his house and headed back to Ace's. John took off after that to make more money and dope. Laws was crazy this day because it was the first of the month. It reminded me of commesary day in jail. People running back and forth like headless chickens, the street full of cars driving by, stopping, and people walking all around, probably over 90% of them looking for dope. Dope is like water on Laws Ave. Nearly everybody you see is either a dealer, assisting a dealer, or just a tweeker looking to score some shit, or already tweekin.
Later that evening a few different people came to Ace's looking to score some shit. Conley came by and I gretted him sense I have'nt seen him for a while. Then he pulled me asside and told me that this other dude that was there ripped off one of his friends for lots of weed and money. Soon after he stepped up to the dude and called him on it. The dude made some stupid ass excuses and comments. Among some of those were how he should'nt be fucked with, and how he is so tough because he came from Sacramento.
That is where I came in and told him that Being from sacramento don't mean shit. He got mouthy with me also and asked if I wanted to see. I told him I did and started taking off my jacket. Ace seen me and asked that I be cool sense he has a warrant and did not need cops there. I said ok. Before Ace interupted I already seen the dude's expression change as soon as I started to take off my jacket. I would have fucked that punk up and I think I am still going to here real soon. Little John will take me to where he lives, and be there along with a few others while I stomp the fuck out of this weak little Sactown fagget. I don't care who jumps in, his homies will fukin die too if that is what needs to happen. Then I will tell him-"welcome to U-town BITCH".. I can't wait. I pulled Conly asside and brought up the possibility of getting him when he walks away. We were going to until Ace said he did not want that happening around his house, so we all decided that Conley will call his homeboy who was ripped off, and see exactly whats up, and get details, then call me up if we needed to go take care of this dude. I will see in a few days what will happen. I might just decided to go get him anyway, regardless of what happens, just because I don't like punks like him and he already made it on my hit list. Finaly we all went upstairs and smoked some bud. Even the dude who was with the pussy, who I have known for a while, said that the guy was not even his friend and that he is stupid.
We chilled untill night-then I went and got some more weed. I got a ride of Kayla's dad, who was so fuckin tweeked out he couldnt drive right. We made it though, and went to Blockbuster so Kayla could get some PS2 games. I walked out because Kayla's dad was tweekin out so bad that costumers were starting to turn their heads. When they got out we went to the car and drove back to laws. Kayla's dad lit up a joint of some killer ass dank that got me so fucking stoned that I had to smoke a couple more bowls of some good dope just to revive myself from being so god damn comatosed. We got high on dope a little more, then started smoking weed until I passed out. I woke up the next morning. I smoked a little shit to wake me up then wen't to catch JJ who just showed up and left not knowing we were awake. We did not find him, but still had fun just walking around. Little John spotted a couple scraps that drove by in a pick-up, and ran after it outnumbered and not giving a fuck. They did not stop. Little John is a little nutty fucker that just don't give a fuck. That is why I get along with him so well I guess. That is also why he always gets jumped, and why the scraps try so hard to take him out. I remember one incident where he attacked a couple scraps, one who had a pistol, with only a brick or chunk of Concrete. He got shot at but did not get hit and fucked up one of the Scraps. He was lucky as fuck.
I hung out on Laws some more before heading back to Waugh. I kicked back for a while before passing out and sleeping all that day (yesterday), until today (just a bit ago). Now here I am and I am about to get ready to go out and do something. I will check back in the future and write another entry if I have time.

2004-02-23T16:52:00.000-08:00

The last week or so has been, well, the only word for it would be something like hecticly fucked up.
I've had worse days in my life, but I guess I'm just getting tired of all the shit.
One thing I do know is that things are starting to get crazy in this town again, I can feel it in the air. I wen't over to Laws ave. about a week (give or take a couple days) ago to see Rick, Chuck, Dale and Ace.
It was raining like a mother fucker outside all that day and I was dreading going out in it cause I didnt realy feel like getting wet. I had a little bit of Shit left and just broke my piece of shit Glass pipe so I had no way to smoke it.
I got some foil, but this shit is too good for foil, it just burns right through it, even the extra thick heavy duty foil like we have.
I took a shower, and did other shit that I usualy do before I go out, then grabbed a couple bottles of Beer for Rick and Chuck, and headed out the door.
It was'nt more then 10 seconds later, about 5 feet away from my yard that I heard a honk and a car came cruising up. It was Lil' John and linda. They asked me where I was going and I told them I was going to Laws. They offered to give me a ride sense I think Lil' john was on his way there also.
I said ok and then had them stop by the store on Washington to buy a new tube for a glass pipe. She had to get gas also so she said it was cool.
I went in, payed for the gass and bought a glass. Then she dropped me and lil' john off on Laws. Lil' John said he wanted to talk to me about some things so we walked up and down Laws for a while discussing various things. He was wanting me to hook up a pistol, preferably a 9 mil., and also talked about a few other things. One thing he was wondering about is if Ace was getting his little sister high on dope. He was pretty sure he was getting her high, but Ace says he don't and Lil' John knew he could not just go off his own assumptions. I asked Ace before a few different times, and he even swears to me he does'nt let her hit the pipe, even though I have thought he might have before, and she does seem spun sometime. I told lil' john that Ace told me he did'nt so he is just going to wait it out. We got done talking and made plans to meet at Ace Dogg's house in about a half hour. I went to Rick's place and handed him and Chuck a beer. They were drinking cheap shit so I am sure they were thankful for the change.
I bullshitted for a while then blew the pipe. I bullshitted for a bit more afterwards, took a few hits off the new pipe (which was also a piece of shit sense the store on washington has been only selling thin glass), then walked outside to go to Ace Dogg's pad. I stepped out and Lil' john was outside the house talking to some people. I walked up and he told the people he would catch them later. We then walked down Laws and we wen't to this chicks house.
We knocked and he seen if it was cool that he had company, then walked inside. We went upstairs and to the room where the lady was at. She told her daughter to go play, and after being a defiant pain in the ass, she finaly did.
Lil' john then asked to see my new pipe and loaded a bowl of shit in it. Then he had be grab my bag and he put a fat Shard in it and told me to save it for myself later on. That was cool as fuck. We rolled a few bowls and then I decided I must get going so I can make it to work in time. We looked around for any homies that might be around to see if we can find a ride, but we didnt see any.
It was'nt raining that bad at the time so I decided to just walk. Lil' John said he would walk with me half way. We started walking, and talking about various things, and discussed buisness. We got half way down state when we seen a couple cops roll up to Millers Doughnuts. We both got jumpy because he has a warrant and I had a Glass Pipe, a bag of Dope, and a Syrenge on me.
We kept walking hoping they would not come and try to harass.
We took a short cut through the field and came out on Talmage Road. He was now more then half way but he was not going to turn around with the Cops in the area. While walking on Talmage a Cop cruised by us, and slowed down after passing us, like he was studying us in his rear view. Finaly he wen't around the corner where we could not see him. We had the feeling he might be laying in wait for us, but were not sure. We decided to hit the tracks and walk up them for a while. When we reached the tracks just across the street, we seen the cop parked at the Gas Station, right by the curb to drive out, not getting gas. He was waiting for us to walk by and I am sure he was going to stop us.
We hurried down the tracks and I kept my eyes over the fence where I could see some of Waugh Lane. I seen the same cop then drive down Waugh. and after that I knew he wanted us. We got part way down the tracks and I looked ahead and seen another cop drive past on Gobbi. So we cut through a hole in the fence and got on Waugh. and just hoped we could avoid any other cops. I finaly made it to my pad and got ready for work. Lil' John kept walking to a homies house where he would be safe. He said he'd call me at work because I was suposed to check in on the Baretta 9 mil.'s, the 9 mil. oozies, and about coming up on some cash to start a good dope flow and make some extra dope/money.
I rolled a few bowls then took a shower and went to work.
He called me at work once, and I said I had not yet been able to set things up.
He said he would call back but never did.
I went home after work that night, and took care of some shit I needed to do, rolled a few bowls, and tweeked out untill the next day.
The next day Lil' John called me and asked me if Ace contacted me and told me why he did'nt call back the night before.
I said no, but I also was not around the phone much so he could of.
He then told me about what happened. A car load of Scraps (Sureno's) cruised up while he was walkin.
a couple got out and started talking a bunch of shit. Lil' John being little, but full of heart like he is, then threw a punch hitting one of them, before they all jumped out (about 5). They started hitting him until they got him on the ground, and then started stomping him over and over. Then they pulled out Knives and Box Cutters and started slashing him while they were stomping and kicking him. They ended up breaking his hip, and slicing him all to hell.
He sounded like he was in allot of pain. He could not go to the hospital though, cause I heard from Ace's mom that the hospital now does warrant checks.
I asked him who they were, and told him I'd keep an eye out, and mentioned that we are going to have to go search for them and retaliate soon. He agreed and said he's get back to me later.
The next few days after that me and Skot chilled and got high.
I went and hooked up some shit on Laws and we rolled some bowls there with Rick, Chuck, and Dale. I was sooooo fucking tweeked out from the night before when I shot up over 200 cc's of Crystal. Skot tried shooting it for his first time and he got such a rush at first he almost busted a load in his pants. He was so fucking high that he wen't to work the next day, came back and was still high.
We took so I could get to work after hanging out on laws for a while. While on Leslie st. We almost had to fight with some punk who had a stick of some sort and was trying to act like a bad ass. We turned around, threw up our arms, in a gesture saying "come on motherfucker, bring it". Skot asked me for my blade but I never give up my knife, especialy during a moment like this. I was ready to just shank the mother fucker because I was not in the mood to deal with the shit. The guy finaly went into the Apartment Complexes and we did not see him anymore. We gave him plenty of oppertunity to step up but I guess he realy did not want to. I finaly got to work and worked a couple hours before I was off. Skot met me after work and we drank some beers. I had to drink a whole shitload, and smoke tons of weed before I could sleep, but I finaly did.
We were going to wake up the next day, and go get a new syrenge.
The next day did'nt work out like it should of though, because he came back and my mom's piece of shit b/f told him I was gone when I was actualy sleeping. I woke up later and noticed he was not there, so I crushed up some shit real fine, and smoked the rest off of heavy duty Tin foil.

Well, I gotta start getting ready for work. I will write another entry when I get around to it. I'm sure there is plenty that I left out.

2004-02-10T14:53:00.000-08:00

Well here I am writing in my journal again.
Sense I have a little time before I got to go do anything, I figured that I would write another short entry.
Lastnight my brain was going so fast, and in so many different directions at once, that I could'nt help but to start dwelling on shit.
I was trippin on shit a little bit too much lastnight.
I will say one thing though, this dope is too fuckin good.
I was tweeked out like a mother fucker, to the point where my brain was scrambled and twisted and where I could not quite get things straight in my head.
It seems to get better and better each time I re-up.
I still have'nt slept any yet, but I could'nt even if I wanted to. I would have to say I am in better mental condition then I was lastnight though.

I am getting ready to go to Laws and drink some brews with Rick in a couple hours, as soon as he gets back from getting groceries.
I took some hits off the dope bong earlier today and I am still high. I feel like I am not even typing, or wording my sentences worth a shit, but fuck it, it will turn out however it does.
Well, I ran out of shit to say, so I guess I will end this again.
This entry seems almost pointless but I realy don't give a fuck.
I typed some shit and that's all that matters. Thats pretty much what this whole thing is for, to type whatever comes to mind. Maybe if I was'nt so gacked out I could write a decent entry, but then again shit happens.
Well, Im probably going to go stare at a wall and try to look for shit that ain't there. until next time.. J-DoGG still don't give a fuck!!

2004-02-10T01:04:00.000-08:00

Well here I am with a pocket full of good drugs, but with a head full of thoughts.
Tonight my mind has been pondering upon my life, and on life around me.
At times it seems like I am on a ride destined for destruction.
I see all the bullshit around me, and even my own bullshit, and it seems like I am bound to take a huge fall.
I am going to admit, most of it evolves dope.
I get high and it eases the pain of living, and dealing with life and my mistakes I have made.
It eases the pain of losing what was once most precious to me, and being completly alone in my struggle with nobody but myself. I smoke dope to maintain from day to day. Then all the bullshit comes rolling in, all the Dope drama and drama of life keeps throwing shit my face that I can not possibly avoid dealing with.
Either some fuckin punk is trying to get some sly shit over on me with dope buisness, a Road Dogg gets jumped, I get attacked or provoked, somebody threatens my life, family is threatened, or whatever the case may be, there is always something that I have to deal with, that I end up risking my own ass, my freedom or life, in the meanwhile I got all these stupid ass hoes and bitch made mother-fuckers all around driving me completly insane and completly piss me the fuck off. It's like I try to deal with life's pain- and probably blow my fucking brains out, or try to ease the pain and end up in Jail or Dead.
It feels like everything is just flying by and I'm trying to just grasp, and hold on to life, and do whatever I can not to fall off.
It's like I am heading directly toward disaster, and there is nothing that I can do about it, try to deal with life and end up failing, or try to deal with easing that pain of life, and risk my freedom.
Sometimes I wish I would just die. That would take all of the bullshit away. Maybe I am just grasping on to what I have left hoping that everything ends up working out. I hesitate when I think of those who may be hurt if I were to die, but Damnit if only they knew how I feel, then they would understand.
I often think that if I could only wake up, and be back with Melissa, then everything would be ok and I would not need to get high anymore. I tryed for her not to do any drugs or smoke herb for a little bit
while I was with her, and failed, but now it's gone, I realise all that I had.
The lies she told do get me, but I also realise that there is allot of things I did wrong, and fucked up on, that I could have did otherwise and possibly prevented my heart ache. My Jealousy, natural lack of trust, among a few other things, I see now just may have had a major roll in us not working out. I need to learn to just forget about this shit by now, it has been a long time, but I seem to still have a slight hold on that part of my past. Seeing her with Donald in the drive-thru at work the other day did'nt help much.
I often wish that another would come along that I could get close to as I did with her, but then figure out that bitches seem to be bitches, and hoes with always be hoes. It is like they are all the same. Deceptive, dishonest, cold hearted, feelings able to just up and change out of nowhere, scandelous, devious, they all seem to end up being completly different from who they presented themselves out. BITCHES ARE FAKE. to put it blutly. Maybe I am totaly wrong but I guess that my trust has just been shattered, along with my heart and self esteem. Who knows what life will bring.

Well, to get to other things, Rikky just got arrested Lastnight. He came to my door about 2 or 3 Am., with blood all over his arms, and told me that he knew right where the dude that ripped us off was. I guess he took a chain and ran up and smashed the dude's windshield and windows with it, and in retaliation the dude did the same with the same.
He wanted me to ride with him to take care of buisness, but I had shit to do that needed to be done so I told him that we should wait until the next day, then I could even call up some heads and we could all mob over there incase any shit went down. He agreed and took off. He looked tweeked out of his Gord, like he was up for many days. I woke up this morning and mobbed over to Ford St. to get some Cash and Weed, then went to Laws and visited with Ace Dogg. I hooked up with some bomb ass dope and we smoked a few joints. That's when he told me that Rikky was in jail again for Vandalism. I bet that punk mother fucker called the cops on him, which being a snitch bitch is a big mistake. I am sure he will be dealt with soon.
I also got the option of buying me a new toy here in the near future. Ace Dogg's connect has an Oozie for sale that he is trying to get rid of fast, and I got first dibbs on it. Ace Dogg said he'd tell him to keep it set aside. After I headed out from Ace Dogg's pad, I started walking toward my house to get ready for work.
Ace's mom yelled over to me and said she was going home, which was way over on the North Side, and that she might be getting a ride and I could possibly catch one to. I thought that was cool so I walked over toward where she was. That's when I ended up seeing Rick (My mom's ex husband), and his brother sitting there drinking brew in an apartment. Come to find out they live there now with their other brother, which I was hella jazzed cause these guys are cool, and I keep losing touch. I got a number from them, bullshitted a few minnutes, showed off my dope to them, then headed out because the ride was ready. We ended up making plans for tommorow, to smoke some dope and drink some brews. Right now that is what I am looking forward to, and even better, I have'nt got to see them all 3 together for a few years.
Also Dale's (Rick and Chuck's other brother) wife was no longer living with him, so it is just a household of dudes who don't trip on shit and don't mind if we hang out and smoke dope. We'll see how this goes tommorow.
Well, I think I'll bring this to an end for now.
Not sure when I will write back, but things are getting pretty crazy lately so it may not be long.

2004-02-02T14:47:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a crazy couple of days and I don't realy have much to do right no so I figure I will write a bit.
Yesterday Ace Dogg Showed up because he knew I wanted to hook up with some more shit. I was in a tweeker sleep and he had to wake me up. I smoked a bowl of weed with him, then he told me that Rikky was in the car waiting. I gave him the money, then he went and gave it to Rikky and came back.
We smoked some more weed and chilled for a while untill the annoying Blond Hoe he was with called back and said they were on their way. She then told me "Bring a Bat" and Rikky in the background saying "Bring a Ghat". I hung up with them after they told me briefly what happened and got dressed up to go out as quick as I could. Rikky soon mobed up with the Hoe and me and Ace Dogg Jumped in. Apparantly from all that they said, this dude who lives on Sydney Ct. sold them MSN (shit you buy at an herb store that looks, smells, melts, and taste's like Crystal,- but smokes shitty and don't even get you high) mixed with a small bit of Crystal powder. The Hoe did remind me that Rikky never knew about MSN until recently so he was fooled. We decided to find this guy and fuck him badly. The Hoe was going to mace him and I and the others would probably beat the fuck out of him. I wanted to do something that made a lasting impression, after all that is how I always done things, so I figured I would break his legs or something like that. Something that he will have for a while, and have to live with, so he can think back on what caused it all and know not to fuck with me or my people.
We cruised around a few hours, first stopping at this Apartment near Observatory and questioning the dude who lived there about where this chick (Pratt's mom) that was with the dude that ripped us off was.
He swore up and down he did not know where they were, and that she was going to be back later.
We took off and cruised over to Pratts house and Rikky went in to see if he was there. He stormed in and searched through the house, and in the closets, and left. We then went back to the Apartment and found Pratt's Mom there and went inside. We questioned her and she said that she was only giving him a ride and that she dropped him at her house. So we went back to pratt's, parked around the side, then Me, Rikky, and Ace Dogg mobbed up and knocked. We came in for a bit, looked around, and bullshitted for a few minnutes about the dude we were looking for. I guess he ripped one off one of the guys who were at Pratt's also.
Then we decided to go over to Sydney Ct. which was only a couple blocks away so we walked over there. When we got to Sydney we stormed up to the Dude's house and knocked on the door. His mother came out and we wasted no time in telling her that we are looking for him and we wan't to know where she was right away. She swore that she knew nothing and that she could'nt let us in his room to look. We finaly decided to walk away but waited just around the corner. Rikky snuck up and listened at the Garage door, sense that was the dude's bedroom, to see if he could hear anybody in there. He didn't so we took off. We cruised around a bit more, looking for this guy. We wen't and drove by a few people's houses that he might be hanging out at and did not find him. I am pretty fucking sure he is hiding. The little bitch knows what he did.
Finaly I had them drop me off back at my house and I got some shit done that I needed to do.
I trimmed some more of my weed, bagged up some buds, washed my clothes, and took a shower. After my shower I got dressed up and called up Rikky on his Cell phone and told him to come by because I wanted to look some more. He said that he was up in Redwood Valley and that he would be a little bit. I waited a little bit, smoked a joint, and called back. He then said that he was on his way but the Hoe wanted to go by Wall-Mart to try and sell that bunk dope for some money for me. I said ok, waited only a little bit longer, and took off. I went to Ford St. to see the old Hood and to visit some people. I went by and seen my Dad for a while, then took off from there. I stopped by Wendy's on the way back home to Waugh Ln. and said what's up to Short Dogg. I wanted to come in for a while to eat but they closed it down early. I told Shorty to let me in but he said he had to ask the manager. He did and the manager said "No", just joking around.
I figured she was joking, sense I get away with so much shit there, for instance Throwing a Jr. Bacon cheesburger at a costumer, Throwing a Jr. Bacon at the Wall near the Drive Thru, Telling a customer to shove his food in his ass, telling a manager to lick my balls if she had a problem with me going on a break (I was comming down and did'nt give a fuck), nearly attacking a customer for talking shit, Sliting my own wrist and chasing down a dude with a knife because he took my other knife, making out with a few chicks who also worked there, coming in later many times (usualy when fucked up things are happening), bringing Weed and a Pipe to work, Smelling like weed when I come back from my break, Bring a Gun, a shank, and a chain to work and getting arrested, along with other little things such as sleeping on the counter when I have been up for days and coming down off of dope, etc.. I could not possibly name all the shit I've gotten away with. But I do manager to do a very good job, get things done right, and be able to get them done early enough to help out up front. My boss even said one time that I am a very good worker, I just have allot of problems in my life right now. He said that was the only reason I am not a manager yet, that and because I am too fucked up in the head. HAHAHAHA. Yes, I am fucked in the head. My Noodle, is cocka-doodle, I got screws loose, the whole Kitten-Kaboodle, I'm just brutal, it's no rumor I'm numero Uno... anyway.. HAHA.. Yes, I am fucked in the head, but with all that I go through, nomatter how fucked up and how much damage it may do, that is still more to learn and grow from.
What don't kill you don't always make you stronger, but many times it will make you wiser.. Anyway, after saying bye to Shorty, closing and Pounding and Drive thru Window several times, and walking away ignoring the manager saying "I was just joking", I walked up Leslie street and went to the Hobbibs store on the Corner of Leslie and Gobbi. I seenRikky and his hoe there. His hoe was in the store buying Tequilla and he was outside pumping gass. I bought a few quarts of beer and walked outside to talk to Rikky. He had just gotten there and was in my area to pick me up and to take this other dude in the back home. He said he wanted to take a shower so I suggested I go home and drink some beers and call him back then we can go cruise. He said ok so I took off not even a Block away to my house. I drank a few beers that were in the Fridge first, then drank a couple of my courts and smoked some CHRONIC ass bud, then called up Rikky. He did not answer (Probably dealing with that stupid ass hoe) so I drank the rest of my beer. By that time I was pretty faded and did not feel like going anywhere. I layed on my blankets and passed out.
This morning Ace Dogg woke me up again by pounding on my Door and Window until I let him in.
The first thing he said to me was that his hook-up came by lastnight and that he re-upped. He handed me bag of some Bomb Crystal and I let him hit off my weed pipe while I went and smoked dope out of a broken pipe. We chilled for a bit then he took off back home. I took a shower, got dressed, smoked the rest of my dope, and called up one of my people to bring me some weed. He brought me some buds that I did not have to trim and then gave me a ride over to Laws Ave. where Ace Dogg lives.
I went and smoked a bowl of dank with Rob and his cousins and Girlfriend, then had one of his cousins roll a joint. Ace handing me a nice bag of Crystal and I handed him the weed I was going to trade.
We smoked a bit more, then he looked at my bag of weed that I did not give him, and asked to trade for that also. I said ok so he took out a couple FAT ASS Shards of Crystal and put them in my bag. He then decided he would pay me for Rikky's fuck-up lastnight and gave me even more, so Rikky now owes him.
NOW BLAMO!!!! I walked back home, loaded the Glass pipe, and I am sitting here now with a FAT BAG of Shit that blows Cloud 9 hits and lasts for a LONG time.
This shit is better then the last bomb shit. I got to go to work tonight, then I am off tommorow, which is good because I am going to be spun out like a mother fucker.
So things may be looking up for a few days, but who knows, life has been known to take sharp, unexpected turns, and pretty often.
Well, I am going to end this for now, maybe go get high and check some email and/or fuck around on the internet for a bit. I think I'll probably end up writing again soon.

2004-01-31T03:45:00.000-08:00

Well here I go with another entry.
I just got back a bit ago from Ace Dogg's pad, and cruising around with Little Rikki and some annoying hoe. She was spun as fuck and drunk and could not even hit the glass right. She matched me a bowl of dope while we were chillin at some dude's house near Talmage. The dude was cool but she was starting to piss me the fuck. Today was payday today, so it went by ok, but I always seem to expect better. I got some shit though, so everything is cool.
I woke up this morning sometime after noon, and sat around the house smoking herb for a while before I had to go pick up my check.
I cruised over with my pops to get the check and cash it, then payed off some ppl.
About a half hour after I got home, Ace Dogg called me up and said he could hook up some shit. I got on the phone and found a Ride to Laws Ave. and met up with Ace. We sat and smoked some dank for a while before we went to go hook up the shit. About 30 minnutes later the shit was delivered so I kicked a few nice sized shards of chrystal to the chick that delivered. I went and rolled a few bowls up in Ace's Pad and kicked it for a while. As always, a few dope fiends came up to me all on my nuts to get a fix.
I kicked one down a little bit because it was my Homeboy's Aunt. I got a ride to work after that, went home and got ready for work.
After I got off work I walked back here to Waugh Ln., rolled a couple bowls to where I was tweeked, then called up Ace Dogg to see if I could re-up and if they wanted to kick it. He called up Rikky who had an ok connection then called me back saying they were on their way to pick me up. They swooped by and picked me up and we went over to a shop on Clara. We hooked up some ok shit from some mexicans and headed out.
We decided to go over to Pratt's house sense we were near there, and roll some bowls. We chilled for a while in Pratt's room and rolled a few bowls but he stayed out in the other room because he could'nt ditch a couple hoes!.. HAHAHA
I ended up leaving him some and we took off back over to Laws. Me and Ace chilled at his pad for a while. LJ came by and smoked some herbs with us, and we rolled a bowl of dope every now and then until I decided to head out. We called Rikky, I smoked a joint with Ace, kicked back a bit, then he came by to get me. That's when I met up with that annoying hoe. She was in the car with him and had him pick up some other guy who just got out of jail and was too paranoid to do anything. I had to hear that bitch's annoying ass mouth plus all the little bickering that was going on between her and Rikky, who was obviously spun out of his fuckin Gord. We went to that dude's house, then dropped off the first guy we picked up, then Rikky took me back home.
Now here I am, at home sitting in front of this computer screen. I probably won't be sleeping tonight (or this morning HAHA), I have to admit I am pretty tweeked and I still have a couple nice bags. One bag of Dope and one bag of Crystal. I am planning on just sitting here and getting spun out, and kill all the bullshit in my head. I have been thinking allot lately about everything in general, and YES, my Ex.
Not sure why I can't forget about her yet. Maybe I still care about her, that's what this chick at work said anyway. I guess she did break up with that stupid fuck Donald. That is good because he treated her like shit. But anyway, shit happens. I am about to end this and get high and tweek out.
Until next time...

2004-01-26T13:43:00.000-08:00

Here it is, another day, and here I am still recording my life down on a computer screen HAHA. I think it's pretty cool though.
You never know, I could get fucked up on drugs pretty bad someday and loose most of my memory, then I'll probably be glad that I wrote all the shit down that I did (HAHA).
This also will give other people something to look back upon my life through my own words, when I am dead. I am pretty sure that my life is not going to be very long. I feel that death is not far too far away. Maybe this will whole journal thing will help people understand me better when I am gone.
But anyway....

Me and Skot Dogg mobbed up to Ford St. yesterday and drank some brews with my Pops and Jose. He also rolled up a few hooters of some of his good dank, which was nice because it was a change in variety. We got pretty faded :-)
We chilled on Ford st. for a while, which was nice because I got to see the ol'e Hood again, then I called up Ace Dogg about hookin up on some shit.
He said he was still waiting but it would not be long, so me and Skot went and killed some time around the town. We were kickin it on South State St. when Ace Dogg and Rikky came cruisin by and seen us. We hopped in the back, and Ace Dogg handed me a bag of shit. We decided to shoot over to Pratt's house for a while just to see what was going on. When we got there, Pratt was sitting there chillin with Nikki. I had Pratt toss me his Glass pipe, then had Rikky clean it with a Torch. We rolled a few bowls, then rolled a few more out of Pratt's cheap ass Dope bong. I guess it was ok, but I sure do miss the pull-carb dope bongs that me and Shorty used to make all gacked the fuck back in the shed on Ford. I decided to smoke up my bag while I was there, sense I'm realy not too stengy with my shit. We mobbed out a little later, after we got high.
We loaded up in Rikky's Ride, along with Pratt who decided to come along.
We cruised a shot distance, then I had Rikky drop me and Skot off at Wendy's.
Shorty was closing so I wanted to go fuck with him a bit. We chilled there for a while, and I ended up smoking a joint with him, that I had in my pocket most of the day. We kicked it for a bit longer then headed out. We drank a few brews and smoked some more weed on my mom's porch before Skot decided to head out. I thought I felt pretty burnt out sense I've been up for days, so I figured that I would go inside and end up passing out. I went inside but did not sleep worth a shit. I was a bit burnt, but still tweeked out. I tweeked on shit most of the night last-night, then decided to lay down and rest my eyes. I might of gotten a tweeker nap, but still no real sleep. I had a little dope that I stashed aside from a day or so ago, so I hit on the pipe every now and then. I loaded up my last bowl about a half hour ago and smoked half of it, now I am high again. I am about to call up Ace Dogg and see what's goin on with the shit, and I might get some more. I'll probably kick him a little dank too, for his efforts and shit like that.

Well, I'm gonna put this too a close for now. I'll probably check back sometime soon, but who knows.

2004-01-25T00:21:00.000-08:00

Well, here we go once again with another entry into this online journal thing.
Actualy, I am very surprised that I have kept up with it this long, allot of times I will start something that just seems cool at the time, then never finnish it.

This sure has been a fuckin crazy a$$ couple weeks.
It took me a while to adapt again to not being in jail, let alone being tweeked out of my fuckin gord sence a few hours of getting out.
I got out around 4:30 am, got a ride to my mom's house, then smoked some dank until I met Ace Dogg at about 7:30. Conley met me half way, then we walked back to where Ace Dogg was. As soon as I stepped in the room, I was greeted by Lil' John, Ace Dogg, Kayla, and a couple other people I knew, and with a fully loaded bowl of some Chrystal that Ace loaded. I got spun the fuck back rolling bowls for several hours, before I had to be at work. Before I got off work, Skot and Doty came by the drive-thru window and asked if I wanted to drink some J.D.
We drank a bottle of J.D., had some brews, and smoked a shit load of dank- I got tore the fuck back. Falynn and Eric called while I was at work and said they were getting a motel in U-town that night, and told me that they would call that night.
They called not long after the booze was gone, so I had them swing by and pick me up. We went to the Motel and we matched some bowls of Chrystal. We bullshitted for a while, then they mentionad that we should go to Rose Town and visit some of their friends. I was all tweeked out and did'nt give a fuck, it sounded good to me.
They wanted some time along to fuck first, so Eric gave me a lift home and then we met up a few hours later. After we made a stop, We were bumpin tunes and smoking dank all the way until we got to Rose Town, then arrived at their friend's place. I guess they did not allow smoking dope in their house, only doing lines, so we did lines of Chrystal for a few hours.
I wanted to go get some more shit, so eric took me to a hookup in Rohnert Park. We sat there for a while, and I rolled a few bulbs with these Cityfied Marin tweekers (hehe) who was convinced that you could get a better hit from a lightbulb, then you could a glass pipe. Well, I had them find the glass then I proved otherwise. I blew some dope clouds, passed around the peepa, then headed back for rose town.
We got back, made up some lines, before the lady's boyfriend had to go to work.
After he left, I ended up talking my way into being able to smoke some shit out of the glass the Rohnert Park people gave us. Before that night was over, we ended up smoking a bunch of herbs, going and buying a bottle of Tequella and some beer, and I had everybody eventualy hitting off the glass in the house were it was suposed to be "forbidded" (HAHA) It was great. I ended up passing out on these people's lawn, making my way to the poarch before passing out again, then getting up about an hour later feeling completly fine. I then smoked some more dope and drank another couple beers after that.
I quit drinking finaly, but I was getting tweeked out of my mind. My brain was completly wacked out.
I stayed up tweekin that night also, then part of the next day, before heading back to U-Town.
I was completly fucked up and tore back. I managed to be on a 3 day Chrystal run, drink enough booze to kill an elephant, and smoke herbs till I could'nt smoke any more.
I guess when I passed out in Rose-Town, it was not entirely because I was drunk, but my brain was wacked on some good Chrystal also and I went into kind of a Dope comma type nod-out. Being fresh out of jail did not help it any. I pretty much have stayed high from then till now. Me, Skot, and Densil got a Motel a couple of knights, and me and Skot got tweeked. We tore up a shelf from a dresser in the motel room, flipped it over, and drew some squares on the bottom with a perminant pen for a chess set. We then made our own pieces out of flash-card paper and I had fuck skot up all night at chess.

(I need to make a call to the dope man-- I will return)

Well, I'm back, but I think I am going to keep tryin the dope man for now. If I can find Ace I know he can hook up. I need to be more careful though, people are startin to trip here and it is causing more drama then I realy care to have. People hassle me often about quitting, and nag when I do get high, but I realy don't think I'm ready to stay clean. I'm still not ready to deal with life and it's bullshit. There is still too many painful thoughts flowing through my brain to stop getting high. I get tired of all of it at times, but life and reality seems to linger there with you.
I would like to go clean off of dope someday, but things just are'nt where I need them to be right now.
Melissa even still comes to mind quite often, and I am still trying to deal with it. It might sound stupid to some people, but even after all this time I still miss her, and have strong feelings for her. I have'nt even seen her in almost a year!! Unbelievable. But I guess that's just how shit goes.
This game of life is'nt fun, and sure the fuck aint easy. But, it is either Live or Die

2004-01-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

Well, here I am again writing to this online journal thing.
I just got out of jail a couple days ago and even though it was not THAT long, things sure are different now. I was "getting used" to how things are in jail so I have been having to adapt back into the outside life.
I was able to see a few friends sense I got out, but it's crazy because it seems like there is more of them in jail then there is on the outside.
When I went in, I did not know what to expect. I had an idea, but it was not at all what I was expecting.
First, I turned myself in at 7.00 pm like I was suposed to. Then I ended up waiting for a few hours outside before they let us come in. Then I sat in the visiting tank (the holding tank was full) for about 6 or 7 hours until they finaly came and got me. I went through the typical booking BS. then they finaly took me to 400 Block.
I made my bed, slept for about an hour or 2, before they call me on the intercom and tell me to stand by the bars. A couple minnutes later, they threw me into an Isolation cell with a red Jump suit (Combative) because they felt I was a threat to security because of my background. I set in Iso for a few days before I was able to talk to a classification officer to get me out. I talked to the Classifications officer for a minnute or so, and ended up being sent back to my original bunk in the Dorm. Then I was asked by a C.O. if I wanted to go to the working side, which I said I did. Later that day, I was told to roll my things up and they took me to 300 block (working side), I was not there more then 5 minnutes before he told me to roll my things back up and go to 400. So I did. Then again, he rolled me up back to 300, a few minnutes later rolled me back to 400, and told me that I had a no-mix with a Sureno in 300. So I had to wait until they could talk to me and him, before they finaly rolled me back to 300. It was definatly crazy being bounced around back and forth.
The Working side was cool because I could get a job there at the jail which would help my time pass by.
Plus, 300 block seemed to have been more calm then 400. I got into a few fights during my stay at jail, mainly against punks who think they are bad asses and can do as they wish.
My first issue was with this tall, bald guy, who got mouthy so I confronted him.
The next day he decided to tell me that he was going to take my coffee so I called his bluff.
I ended up putting him in his place. We did not end up fighting because I think he got scared. We had a face to face confrontation in the Kitchen, and he ended rolling himself up out of jail and to a rehab.
He is lucky though, because he had more then one enemy and I had it all set up for him to be dealt with.
It was not going to be too pretty. Hehe.
Another incidend happened when some dude was trying to put up a front, and called me on. I had to take him to the corner and drop him. A week or so later, another guy decided to talk some shit about me not knowing that my road dogg was listening to him. My Road Dogg came and told me, then I went and confronted the shit talker. He ended up trying to play it off as if he was talking about something else, so I let it slide. Later that day my Road Dogg comes back to me and tells me of some more shit he said when I was away, and which was a little more personaly directed toward me.
So I walked back over to my dorm where this guy was laying in his bunk and called him out. No matter what I said, he kept saying "what?" "what?", so again I let it slide and walked out of the dorm. A moment later, the door clicked and as soon as the guard came into the day room, the shit talking bitch got some balls and hopped off his bunk to come talk shit. (in front of the guard)
We both got taken out by the guard and were questioned. As soon as we got back, I noticed that everybody now thought of him as a straight bitch for pulling that dry snitch move.
Another one, which I am so fuckin lucky that I did not get allot of time added on for, was when one guy who I recently had a verbal dispute with, charged me when I was sitting in a chair watching T.V. in my dorm. I seen him rush me, so I hopped up and charged him with a football style shoulder block.
The charge knocked him back where he hit his head on the steel stair railing going up to the Dorm above, the fell forward from the impact, landing on his stomach. Then I kicked him square in the face. He was not moving after then, besides a couple twitched. Come to find out, I fractured his face from the kick, but he did not snitch. I had a few more small fights here and there, for various reasons, but usualy having something to do with commisary.
I went to 400 again before I got out, and that was a little crazy also.
The Surenos, Nortenos, and Peckerwoods all ended up on the yard one day.
The Surenos outnumbered everybody else so the Nortenos and Woods stayed kindof close.
Besides, I knew a few of the main nortenos there in 400 from way back in middle school.
A fight ended up breaking out, and I swear that the fucking guards were watching for a few minnutes before they came out and stopped us. To my surprise, the guards ended up making every sureno go back inside to the day room, and left the Woods and the Nortenos to the yard.
No lockdown or anything, that was definatly a trip.
While locked up, I was able to talk to Big D a little bit, and we worked some things out.
He was appologetic about all that has happened, and addmitted he was wrong. We talked about all that BS that had happened between us, from the Motel, to the Guns, etc.. and found out that most of that was caused by his ex Girlfriend (Down town Donna Brown hehe). He ended up being sent over to where I was in 400 during my last couple weeks, but he got into a fight around his 3rd day there, so they rolled him back out to C Tank.
Before I got out, he left a message with somebody from C tank who was being transfered over to 400 block, saying that he is getting out 18 days after me.
He is lucky, because if the C.O's decided to press charges for fighting, he would of gone to the Pen. due to his 2 year 8 month suspended prison sentence.
I hope he can do ok when he gets out, so he don't end up in the pen.
It's crazy how life is. Before I went in, I was getting higher then a motherfuckin kite, as was all my other Road Doggs and aquantences. Then I go to jail, and BAM, there is a whole shit-load of people who I know on the outs, also in jail. It was like life, and everything in general, just did a complete flip.
I can't realy explain it in words, but it sure is nuts.

Well, I'm going to end this now. I may write again later on. I missed a whole lot of what there is to say, so maybe I will be back soon.

2003-11-10T03:08:00.000-08:00

Well, here is another entry into this online journal.
It has been a while sense I last made an entry, and so much has happened sense then.
I spent a little time in County over the issue with "Big D".
Things started to look somewhat back to normal for a while, until "Down Town" Donna Brown came by my work to say Hi, and then tell me that D was planning on taking me out, and was waiting around the area for me that night. I could'nt take any chances so I had my homeboy Austin run to my room and get my Ruger.
Apparantly the Cops were responding to an Alarm at some local buisness around the area, right after the Gun was stashed, and they seen Austin. Austin ended up getting away, but I was arrested when I walked outside the building to go home.
I not only had the Ruger mini-14 with a 30 Round Bannana Clip plus one in the Chamber, but also a Shank made out of a sharpened Bike spoke, and a Chain with duct tape around one end of it that I used as a handle. I was charged with 1 count of Possetion of a Loaded Firearm while under the influence of a controlled substance, 1 count of Possetion of a Deadly weapon, and 1 count of Possetion of a Dangerous weapon. My mom ended up bailing me out and then let me stay at her house rent free, untill I can pay off my bail. The court bullshit ended up being streched out a bit, but finaly it was settled. I got all charged but the firearm dropped, and that reduced to a Misdemenor. Now I got to go in and serve 3 months in County on friday. Sense then, D has been locked up as well. From what I know, he is in for Assault on a Police officer, destruction of City property, and various other violent charges. He's probably going to go to prison over all of this. I'm just trying to get on with my life, but obstacles seem to ALWAYS pop-up, at the most inconveinent of times. All the drama at work does not make it any easier either. From a 40 year old Manager who don't even speak english, trying to "hook up" with me, giving me a diamond ring, and trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to leave home, or looking at another girl, to a fucking faggot looking retard trying to get me in trouble any way possible, it all has taken it's toll.
I still do get high, but not nearly as much as I used to. It is kinda hard at my mom's, because my door has no lock, and it is pretty tweek proof with the energy saver light-bulbs and the non-stick tin foil.
Now I have to blow a pipe when she is not around, or go and use a rig. It is ok though, I will addapt.
Ace Dogg finaly ended up getting on probation, but luckily escaped a 4 year prison term. He as busted for Trafficing because he was selling some dope and got a ride with Little John and got pulled over.
He is on 3 years Felony probation and has to go to NA a few times a week, as well as AODP classes.
He is doing pretty good staying out of trouble also, and has been clean off dope for a while, other then on weekends. He is going to be putting money on my books as soon I go to jail. I am giving him a bunch of weed to sell so he should be able to get money. Speaking of weed, I would have to say this year was a good Harvest. Way more pot then last year, but I still favored my dad's #8 and #1 indica from last year.
It was hectic trying to grow this year though. I had to help keep out the thieves from both the Garden at my Dad's, and the one at my mom's. Somebody already threatened to rob my dad at gun-point, so we went all out on getting a security camera, setting traps, and keeping the guns close by. Not long after the threat was made, and my dad was informed of it, the guy who was supposed to rob my dad "mysteriously" got his ass kicked severly (grin).
I was going to mace him on a dark street, beat the fuck out of him, then break both of his hands, but a few other people got to him first.
I'm going to put this entry on pause briefly, and go hit some of this Bomb ass Crystal.

Well. I'm back, and I am not sure if there is much more to talk about. Allot has went on as always, but I am sure there is lots that I won't remember until I am already finnished with this entry.
Oh, before I forget, Shorty finaly had his kid. It is a boy, and was born 8 pounds 3 ounces.
I can't believe how much he has changed now, he won't even smoke a joint with me much of the time. He has started to gain lots of weight also. I got him a job where I work and I have been training him for the past few days. Rikky also went to jail. Conley, Little John, Little John's dad, and a few other people that I know are going to go there very soon also. Me and Conley talked and were have decided that we would watch each other's back in there. Little John would have my back also, but he is going to probably go to C tank sense he is a Norteno. I despised him for his decision to click up with the Nortenos at first, but I have seen him back up what he represents nomatter what it takes. He was fucked with allot, and people tryed to take him out on several occasions, but he always fought it out and never ran, which earned allot of my respect. Sence he is with ATC, and we are now completly cool with each other, things have been very calm with ATC. No real problems have occoured sense the issue with the pipe bomb, other then Shorty punched by PeeTree (ATC member). Shorty did not fight back though because of his Kid that was about to be born, and the court decision that he had to register his hands as a deadly weapon. Now he has to be very careful what he does, or get lots of prison time. The fighting with the scraps has slowed way down also.
The last incedent was when Austin and Marro where on Sydney, and some of the Myron scraps along with Dopey and a few others (about 10 all together) decided to mob up and attack them with bats and Bottles. It was a retaliation for when Austin busted Dopey's head open with brass knuckles at the Plaza.
The other scraps who lived 2 houses away from mine on Ford st. ended up moving. I have not seen much of the Myron scraps either, other then a while back when 2 of them rode by and started talking shit, and I pulled out of skinner knife and got ready to gut them. Also when they caught Timer on the Corner of Leslie st. and tryed to jump him. That almost broke out to a complete war, but Timer ended up taking a few of them out one by one.
It was a War for a while, but we finaly got rid of them.
The Nortenos and the Scraps still have fights, but the Woods are not involved much any more.
Laws was a hot street for fighting, but now most of the Laws boys are in jail. I am still ready to take care of buisness though, if ever the time comes up. I am sure the time will come again, especialy sense I would'nt put it past a scrap to get froggy and start something up. Not long ago I got into a fight with a scrap on my way home from work, but that was'nt realy shit. What surprised me was that even though there were other scraps around, this one fought me one on one. I got a small black eye, but I am sure he is a little worse.
I have'nt seem him around anymore though.

I still think about Melissa often. I talk shit about her when I am working, but I do still care for her when it comes down to it. I miss her allot. I was so high for so long, that I did not realize how much I missed her, until recently. She is still in my thoughts every day but atleast I can function normaly now.
Maybe I will get to see her again one day, but I am not realy sure if I care or not.

Well, I am going to end this entry for now. Not sure when I will get to write again, but I figure it will be when I get out of jail. Maybe I will get out and have a lot more to write.
Only time will tell.

2003-08-02T03:17:00.000-07:00

I did forget to mention of the events that heppened today, with Joker and ATC, when me, Little D, Shorty, Densil, and some Chick, mobbed in the Impalla down to Laws. Ave. to take out our problem. I think they hid like bitches when we brought the car-load of homeboys ready for war, because they were nowhere to be found.

I will write more later.

2003-08-02T02:59:00.000-07:00

Well, Once again here I am writing another entry in this journal.
At first I wasn't sure how this thing would go, but so far it seems to be pretty cool, and helps me get things off my chest.

I may have spoke a little too soon, when I last said that things were going pretty calm.
The last couple of days have been a little crazy.

I saw some old friends of mine the other day, who I have been thinking about often, and got to talk to them a little bit.
One of them, Rick, is my mom's ex husband, and Chuck, is Ricks brother, both whom I have got to know very well, and partied with on many occasions.
It felt good to see them again, but was kindof a bummer seeing Rick with his cain, looking all messed up.
I guess he has some hip problems, and the Government discontinued his dissability bennifits.
The last I heard he divorced his last wife, which was the one after my mom, and who he cheated on my mom with as far as I know.
Regardless of past issues, he is still a friend to me.
Chuck, being drunk as usual, has not seemed to change much. Every sense his father died, he as been going mostly down-hill, but it is good to see he is still alive.
Yes, Chuck does have a big drinking problem, and a running-his-mouth problem when he get's drunk, but most people don't realize how hard it is for him.
All they probably think about, is how he has lived with his father all life, and how he never truly been out on his own.
You take a guy who has been living with, and suported by his father all his life, it is going to be EXTREMELY difficult when his father dies, and his family who inherited the trailor kicks him out on the street.
Sense then, he has drank almost constantly, in what seems like an attempt to slowly kill himself.
He also found out later that he had hepititis C, which realy got to him.
I could not blame him though, some people were treating him like he is a Walking Biohazard, probably making him feel completly secluded.
My mom was good for that, as she would always have something bad, and dissrespectful, to say to chuck, and chuck still tried to always show her respect.
That man has gone through so much shit, and only now, a couple years later, having gone through some shit myself, can I begin to understand how he truly felt.
Chuck is a good man at heart, and I am sure, despite his imperfections, that God has a special place for him in his heart.
I think I will try to contact them soon, and maybe drink some beers with them, for old times sake.

After I got done talking to Rick and Chuck, I headed back home toward ford street.
Before I got all the way home, I ended up passing by 2 surenos on bikes.
These were the same ones who I was fighting with, when me and Shorty went to "visit" them with a couple baseball bats.
We stared each other down, before one of them, the one who almost put a pick axe in my head, said to me, "What's up motherfucker!"
I turned around and said "what!", throwiing up my arms in a non-verbal statement calling them on to fight.
I kept on going my way, after it seemed like they were going to keep going on their way, but as soon as my back was turned, I heard them coming back toward me.
I pulled out my blade, which I have always called "The Gutter", and held it, ready to mutiliate those gang banger fucks.
They tried to circle me, but soon left after they realized that I don't let shit like that defeate me, and that I don't fuck around.
I am NOT a fucking punk, and I CAN hold my mud.
I have been raized in the shit, lived in the shit, survived in the shit, and have rose above with the determination of a Warrior.
I have been through quite a bit in this short life I have had, and have seen things that many people can not even fathom.
I am not sure it is at all a good thing, but I recently discovered how my reputation is in my city, and how I look in other people's eyes.
Not to bragg, but I guess I was pleased to find out that I am "feared", and respected, by many people from the North to the south end.
From my understanding, sense I have always been a "low profile" person, stayed out of a lot of past drama, have been respectfull to many people, but am able to take care of any buisness which needs dealt with, I have respect, and back-up, from many people I don't even know.
My homebody Ace Dogg, who lives down on Laws ave., told me of how my rep is that of a person who "you don't want to fuck with", and Laws is a street full of thugs and criminals.
This can, and has, served a good use, when it comes to the fact that people probably thought twice before moving against me and my homeboys, but on the same not, I think it could be bad as well.
With a reputation as an "invincible", or hard to fuck with" person, that is all the more temptation for somebody to come test me, and see if I can live up to my reputation.
That is the reason why I feel that it is both safer, yet more dangerous, to hold any kind of rep like that.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think that I am "the shit", nor do I always view myself as "better" then anybody else, but I just know from past experiences, that I can take care of myself.
For a while, it felt like things may have calmed down with the surenos for good, but now I am pretty sure that there is more to come.
Perhaps another full-fledge war. Only time will tell.

Little D came by my work the other day, along with Gail and Densil in the impalla, informing me that somebody tried to Tourch them alive in their car.
He asked me to Ride with them (to go and retaliate), and I assured them that I was ready and willing.
The were ready then, but I had to finnish work before I could go.
They were suposed to meet me after I got off, but I did not get off as soon as I had hoped, so I just missed them.
Little D was there to meet me on Joseph, which is directly off of my street, so we went to my house to smoke some weed and talk about the current issue.
We went and bought some beer at the store, and went to Yokayo school to drink.
I was able get pretty much the whole story according to them by this time, and soon we decided to head up to Cypress, where Gail and her son Densil live. When we got their, we discovered some more shocking news about this conflict.
Between the time I seen them last, and when I showed up after work, there was pipe bomb filled with nails thrown on their poarch.
The Pipe bomb exploded, taking our their window and part of their wall, leaving nails stuck all over the place.
These mother fuckers Bombed a house with KIDS in it, and an old lady.
We were set for revenge now.
We already knew who it was, it was a couple gang bangers who we were currently allied with us against the scraps, sense I had Shorty call a truce between the N.S.L and the now apparant enemies, A.T.C.
The N.S.L. (North Side Life), is a Norteño click with only a small amount of members, but they are more serious, and have more balls then the other Northeño click, A.T.C.
The N.S.L. is made up of several people that I have known at one time or another, mainly people from other Varios throughout the Bay Area.
A.T.C. is a local click, who have been around this city every sense I was a kid, with many members who I have grown up with.
A.T.C. were originaly Surenos years ago, until they switched over from their Blue rags, to Black rags, and started representing our city.
Then, from there, they switched to Red rags when a Norteño from the Bay Area came up to take power.
They have been Norteños every sense, and now it looks like there may possibly be another war with them, like there was a few years ago when they had a confict with my homeboy Big D.
I will probably get into that later. In the meanwhile, I am very cautious of, and am expecting retaliation from Joker, and the other A.T.C. mother fuckers.
If we go to war with A.T.C., and continue to go to war with the Surenos, we may be getting into some difficult situations, biting off nearly more then we can chew.
I am not sure how this is going to go, but me and the homeboys will be ready for anything.

I am going to take a quick break, so I can spin the Glass Pipe, and visit with Ace Dogg and Little D, who are sitting right here with me.
I will continue this entry when I come back---

Well, I am back... It has probably been about a half hour or so. I got side-tracked with discussing relgion with little D.
I am getting spun out though and there is still plenty of dope left ;-)
Here in a bit I think I am going to get realy tweeked out and start cleaning up my room.
Maybe I will write some flows tonight, but I don't know. I will just let things happen as they do.
Who knows, I might even completly write another entry. It most likely depends on if I am TWEEKED the FUCK OUT enough.
I have lots on my mind, but can not choose the words to use, nor do I feel like sitting here much longer.
So I guess this is all for this entry. And again, FUCK spell Check :)
I will write again soon.

2003-07-30T04:55:00.000-07:00

Well, Here I am again writing to this online journal.
I could'nt seem to get that FUCKING page loaded for the longest time.
I am still kind of tweeked from earlier this evening when Ace Dogg came over and hooked up some shit.
We rolled a few bowls and then he left.
He has to be up for tommorow sense he is helping Jay (Dubie J) with his little "project" on the hill.
Ace Dogg does need the extra money/weed sense his sister who he is living with is giving him a bunch of shit about being lazy and not having a job.
Plus the dumbass just got arrested for Posesetion/intent to sell so he has a bunch of legal bullshit to deal with.

Right now my nosey ass homeboy is trying to read what I am writing-- He read this now he is nolonger doing so HAHAHA.

Now ..I am going to take a brief break to get high .. I will be right back...

Ok, I am back now....
and YES I get HIGH!.. and YES I am HIGH!
and I don't really give a fuck what anybody thinks about it.
I just had to get that out of my system.

Getting high seems to have become a favorite pasttime activity for me.
I always loved smoking my weed, and have favored it above any other recreation activity sense I was a young kid.
I always felt more "normal" when I was high, and did'nt even mind going to school as bad.
Infact, sometimes school was "The Shit" when I had a nice fat bud to smoke.
I remember one time I told my school councelor that I heard voices when I smoke pot, she ended up reporting that to the Psychiatric people and I ended up being labled somewhat "insane" (That is my term.. I forget what term they used).
Ofcourse this was not the start of my reputation as a "looney" or "crazy kid, every sense I started school the teachers and pshcological people thought I was not right in the head.
I found this out later in life, when I was searching through some old files my mom had stashed away.
Later on, they decided to call it ADD, and gave me a bunch of Ritilan (Speed) pills to take.
Yep, this was good for a kid I guess.
Turn him into a little FUCKIN TWEEKER, give him posetion of a bottle PILLS that he could just easily sell. (That was one of my first experiences with probation).
Now look at me HAHAHA.
Nothing I "LOVE" more then to melt down a nice rock in the Glass pipe, and give it a nice spin ;-)
So fuck it!
Basicaly, I am a Psychotic lunitic mother fucker, who has a "I don't give a fuck" prespective on life, and I don't realy value life as much as most people probably do.

I remember on my second term in Juvinile Hall, where I was arrested for trying to steal some beer kegs from the beer factory on the tracks.
I ended up "nutting up" and slamming my head against the cement wall and the cell door.
They repeatedly tryed to get me to "calm down", but I was detoxing off various drugs and INHALENTS, and felt like a FUCKING CAGED ANIMAL. They ended up transfering me to Room 1, which was the "high security" room.
It had padded walls, no sink, and they confiscated my pants, and all of my sheets (Anything I could kill myself with).
I was kept in that room for about 23 hours a day at the least, but was often stuck there for over 24 hours a day..
I can't forget to mention that I was healing up from a severe ass kicking at the hands of the local police department, on the tracks, out of public view.
These "Brave" law enforcers of our city decided to Hand cuff a 14 year old kid with a knee in his spine, then kick him over and over in the ribs and back, even after he co-operated with them.
Sure, I attempted to do something about it, but let's look at reality, I was just a blonde, white trash youth, who's family was poor as fuck.
Society just don't give a fuck. Nothing came of it but a hatred for cops.

I guess I am not crazy enough to get free money from the government, but I did once for a while.
I was taking some good liquid acid with my homeboy Big D, thinking I had a Physical evaluation the next morning.
I was still frying the next morning, and found out when my mom came by and told me that she was wrong, and that my eveluation was physcological. Well... I wen't anyway and got money soon after.
That still makes me laugh when I think about that.

Quick Break, getting high..

I am back and feel it's time to switch around the sucbject here, I wen't to applebees today with my Mom and Dale, and the service SUCKED!.
The ribbs where good though.
I was at her house for a while, and she let me smoke a couple bowls of some good herb, to my head.
I sat and watched a DVD and got baked in front of the swamp cooler ;-)

Everything has been more calm then usual, as of late.
Usualy I am having some kind of "dope drama" situation occour, or dealing with the fucking local Cops or Sureinos.
For a while shit got pretty thick between my people, and these fucking scraps.
These gang banging wet-back mother fuckers decided to start jumping, and harassing white people.
Shit hit the fan after they decided to try and hit up one of my good homeboys, then followed me home after work with a whole car load of people.
Me and Shorty ended up seeing 3 of scraps outside their house one day, when walking from Sydney court ("The Hood"). We ran back to my shack and grabbed two alluminum bats and headed back up toward their house.
When we got near, they came out, along with 4 others (Total of 7), with Bats, Broken Bottles, a Pick axe, and a couple clubs of some sort.
This little skinny scrap motherfucker came close to putting that pick axe in my head.
Shorty started whisteling for back-up, with marrow being the first to arrive, along with a couple other people from Sydney Court a couple minnutes later.
As soon as people started ariving, the scraps ended up going back in their yard and behind their wooden fence.
It was not long after, that Shorty seen the cops come, so we ditched the bats, and ran to a homeboys apartment around the corner,
We found out later that several City Police units, a few sheriff units, and the Gang task force all showed up, and we made it out just in time.
Also, I found out that our bats were recovered by some of the homeboys on Sydney. I was Jazzed HeHe ;-)
I could go on and on about our fued with the Surenos, perhaps I will get into more of that at a later time.

I think I am going end this for now, and I am too Impatient to spell check it so live with it!

Hukt on fonix werkt fer me

2003-07-29T03:37:00.000-07:00

Well, here we go, this is my first attempt at writing a "journal" online.
I am not quite sure where to start, sense my life has been one big confusing, and dramatic roller coaster ride.

Life has been difficult for me sense I broke up with my ex.
I was with her about 10 months before it ended completely by surprise. Her excuse for dumping me was that she does not love me as much, or as strongly, as she once did.
Basically, to put it in terms of my understanding, she just "fell out" of love. I did not think this was possible, so at times I often start thinking that she did not love me in the first place, and for some fucked up reason, she chose to lead me on. I found that I can start thinking about these things, and soon my mind is completely consumed by tons of thoughts, questions, and speculations, so I have learned to try and stop thinking about things, which does not always successfully happen, but there are times when I do succeed.

I met her not long after I started my job at Wendy's.
She was working there sense before me, and was the first person to sit down and talk to me.
I am naturally a quiet, but observant person, and do not usually talk a whole lot, to people I just meet, and rarely make the first move to introduce myself.
I seem to study each person, and learn about them and the way they "carry" themselves (act, live, believe, etc..).
She was the first, and only one I would talk to at the beginning.
Soon, she made the move and asked me out one night, and I, seemingly surprising to her, accepted. So we went out on our first date, which was on July 6th, 2002.
I got to really like her over the next few days and weeks, and soon, fell deeply in love with her.
She was the first, and only girl I ever fell in love with, besides this one I met on the internet which turned out to be fake on her part.
Me and my girlfriend broke up a couple days before what I believe to be our 10 month anniversary.
I am not sure exactly how long it was, although I am sure I could figure it out, but I don't like to think about it that much if I can help it.

Anyway, I will shut up about my ex for now, but maybe I will address more of the issue at a later time.

Now I am going pause for a short break, and will resume momentarily. (Actually, I need to get stoned so just hold the fuck on! ;-) )

Well, I am back.. and pretty stoned.

My homeboy Timer is passing out on my floor, occasionally slapping his self and complaining about the ants HAHAHA.
Timer has been one of my good Homeboys sense I was about 14 years old.
He, being "brought up" by the system, starting out in CYA (Juvenile prison), graduating to several times in adult penitentiaries, taught me a lot of things about survival, that kept me alive during my teenage years.
I am sure I could of been some kind of pussy momma's-boy, or some kind of sports player, but that just does not really appeal to me.
Besides, I was not born with a silver spoon up my ass, nor did I have a father capable of buying me a new car for a graduation present (my present consisted of two bottles of Daniels), I had to live in the Shit-hole of society, where life is a little different.
I had to learn what could be called "street smarts", in order to get by.

Sure, I did bring allot of the burden to myself.

I was the kind of kid who would rather stay out of school, kick back all day and get high.
Weed was all around here in the Emerald triangle, so it was widely available.
Every thing else was available as well, and I have tried many different drugs.
I remember when I smoked a shit load of weed with my neighbor (he let me smoke a few bowls to my head, and it was laced with PCP.
I remember my mom making me go to the hospital that night.
I frequently did Acid, and allot of times I would even resort to Huffing Glade Aerosol or Free-on in order to get COMPLETELY FUCKING LOADED, I don't know if it is fortunate, or unfortunate, that the high only lasted 2 minutes tops. Speed was another thing I did every now and then, but not very often (Ironic now that I LOVE to get TWEEKED OUT MY FUCKING GORD hehe fuck it, life sucks, why stay alive, just kill the pain through the glass pipe).

But anyway, I am going to stop writing for now (but I could be back).
Next time I may catch up more on my Homies, Mr.Shorty, Ace Dogg, Little D, Big D, Little Ricki, Dubie Jay, Big Ox, and all the other people who got my back.
But who knows? I Just write what ever pops up at the time, but I am sure I will fit them in.